etcetera etcetera

if something interesting happens every day, it is generally a tiny, mundane, insignificant event, which can not even be called event. How miraculous they are! It is not the good things or happy coincidences, it is a bee visiting the newly blooming flower in pot, the shining sidewalks after a quick summer rain, and today, among many others, it is the baby seagulls beginning to practice timidly their unexperienced wings.
And how flat they become when they are told. However, most of the time it seems they are the things which count most; the etceteras we look down on, extraordinarily mundane, unadorned presences we disdain to share.

unuseful lists # 1 (titles)

there is a good reason to start making useless lists, since I am so tired of making to-do lists, shopping lists, books to be read lists, which after a certain amount of time proves to have not much bearing on the outcome. Maybe, this is just the point of making a to-do list: so that I can organize my mind while making it, and eventually having to make a new one again and again.

I want to make lists, which will have no pressure on me. And the first one goes for the titles of books and albums, songs or movies, whatever, the titles which I like very much, eventhough I may not like or be familiar with the works themselves. This is a titles list, as taken distinct from the work itself, its author, genres, whatever, some of which are enjoyed for the combination of sounds. Of course, as with all lists, this one will need to be enlarged, but since it is useless, not to be revised and revised and revised, over and over again... (Which all goes for not confessing that I am lazy :=)

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
Way to Blue
Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics
Sanatçının Bir Genç Adam Olarak Portresi
The Book of Disquiet
Subterranean Homesick Blues
Clair de Lune
The Name of the Rose
I like Chopin
Farawaysoclose
Jude the Obscure
Kızarmış Yeşil Domatesler
Continuity of Parks
Some Like It Hot
Stories from the city, stories from the sea
Great Expectations
Saatleri Ayarlama Enstitüsü
Hiroshima Mon Amour
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Alice speaks to Cheshire Cat

`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.
`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. `What sort of people live about here?'
`In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.' ...

the vicious circle of Narcissus:

"A strong egoism is a protection against falling ill, but in the last resort we must begin to love in order not to fall ill, and we are bound to fall ill if, in consequence of frustation, we are unable to love."
Sigmund Freud, On Narcissism

I want something but I do not know what
I want the world and I want it not
I may be a fool or I may be not
off my center am I and the center is not.
there is always something missing
or there may be not,
the eye of maelstrom
of an ambitious skeptic
am I not?

Bored by Dreams

Things are never what they seem
Play a part most of the time.
What is yours cannot be mine
And I'm bored by dreams.

Bored by dreams.

I can't say the words I mean
Make myself go through the line.
Does the payment fit the crime
If I'm bored by dreams ?

Take me through the steps my love,
Shall we dance again?
I was older then,
Now we are the same.

Lasse des rêves.

Rêve qui brille dans le noir
Brillera bien, tu peux le croire.
Toujours dire la vérité
Quand je suis lasse des rêves.

Take me through the steps, my love,
Shall we dance again?
Things were always brighter then,
Hear me call your name.

After a certain age
Every artist
Works with injury.

After a certain age
Every artist
Works with injury.

Take me through the steps my love,
Shall we dance again?
I was always older then,
Now we are the same.
Marianne Faithfull

impression

abandoned spaces

those who fill in the blanks
spaces lined with dots,
with the most appropriate
from finite choices.
can you jump a little higher?

those who create blank spaces
marked around with crosses
drawn by white chalk
and a stick nailed on each.
can you reclaim your remainings?

those who move with the current
with no articulation to chart
traceless and immune,
using the void to be.
can you become null?

happy aviv

a late salutation to Nisan,
and its sunloving bahar/aviv/spring flowers
in the name of purple dreams

blue ghost

Hayalet öykümün parçaları kafamda bir novellaya doğru devşirilirken, iki ayrı anlatının paraleliğini tasarlamaya başladım. İki farklı anlatının koşutluğu fikri beni metinlerin koşutluğu, ve ordan da koşutluğun kendisi üzerine düşünmeye sürükledi. Aslında koşut akan iki metin ne kadar koşut (yani paralel) olabilir ve olmaları gerekir mi, dahası gerçekten çakışmayan iki metin niye yanyana dursunlar, ya da paralel metin lafı yalnızca çift dil basılmış metinler için mi kullanılır ve orda da bahsettiğimiz metinler ne kadar koşuttur...
Hikayelerin bir-aradalıklarını koşut olmalarıyla tanımlamam işe yaramıyor gibi görünüyor, nerede koşut, nerede benzer olduklarını, nerelerde çakıştıklarını (henüz) bilmiyorum. Üstelik bir tanesine hayalet hikayesi demek de zor, şimdilik öyle olduğunu varsaymak işime geliyor.
Yazma sürecine dair yazmanın, esas yazıya dair alınan notların (belki işte burda, esas yazı ile onun tasarlanmasına dair alınan notların en azından kronolojik bir koşutluğundan bahsedilebilir) ilginç bir yanı varsa, yazanın o notlardan ne kadar bağımsız kaldığını görebilmesidir belki de.

Ortaya çıkacak olmasını umduğum "şey"in, tanımlamalarıma ve benzetmelerime meydan okumasını umuyorum.

Bir yazma günlüğüne dönüşen bu yazıya, bir yazma-eşliği parçası (adı) eklemeli:
There is a ghost - Marianne Faithfull

ve elbette bir de fotoğraf

Fantôme bleu (koşut ad: Blue Ghost) Pascal Renoux

visible

"It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible ..."
 
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

temptation to end a temptation

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

all influence is immoral

"All influence is immoral - immoral from the scientific point of view." "Why?"
"Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there is such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one's else music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly -that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self. Of course they are charitable. They feed the hungry, and clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. ..."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

sis

haklı haksız

allahın hakkı üçmüş, hak’lı mı hak’sız mı bilemem. şüphe etmek küfürmüş. hak ettiğini ileri süren aptalmış, hak yerini bulsun isteyen pek safmış. hak’lıselimin aklının yerinde seher yelleri esiyormuş, balıkçılar henüz dönmemiş. aklaziyan bir hezeyan yerini sessizliğe bırakmış. denemek hataymış, durmak düşmekmiş, bir şey yapmadan seyretmek şeytana uymakmış. beklemeksizin beklemeyi öğrenmeliymiş insan. denemeksizin yapmayı, istemeden istemeyi, istemeksizin almayı, hep gelmeyi, hep varmayı.

kollarını kocaman açmalıymış insan iki yana, balıkçıların denize attığı ağ gibi olmalıymış. ve beklemeksizin beklenen gelebilirmiş, vardığında sarmalıymış onu ağlara, sımsıkı tutmalıymış. balıkların pulları kayganmış, tutunca bırakmamalıymış. sormamalıymış hak’lı mı hak’sız mı diye, Hak kızarmış küfürbazlara. sormadan almalıymış; istemeksizin alabilen, almaksızın verebilen hak’lıymış.

moment

every moment is a historical one - a summation of a person's life

one hundred bones

In this poor body, composed of one hundred bones and nine openings, is something called spirit, a flimsy curtain swept this way and that by the slightest breeze. It is spirit, such as it is, which led me to poetry, at first little more than a pastime, then the full business of my life. There have been times when my spirit, so dejected, almost gave up the quest, other times when it was proud, triumphant. So it has been from the very start, never finding peace with itself, always doubting the worth of what it makes ... All who achieve greatness in art - Saigyo in traditional poetry, Sogi in linked verse, Sesshu in painting, Rikyu in tea ceremony - possess one thing in common: they are one with nature.

Basho, The Records of a Travel-Worn Satchel

into the green